2012 in a Big Photo-filled Nutshell

Definitely my photo of the year.

I love reading other peoples' summaries/resolutions/etc for the year. So in the midst of my insomnia (I've been working on this post for 4 hours starting 4.30am), I thought I should do one as well, only in a more may-niac fashion: with pictures - just the way you love it.

1. Family 

Made my first trip in Australia out of Melbourne! And besides visiting my friends at UNSW (below), I spent most of my time with the best aunt ever, Aunty Bee! As you can tell from the oysters, she's one to spoil me. 

On the side note, Sydney is definitely a place to visit if you've never been, though I'd suggest bringing someone who's familiar with the area along if you're as harebrained as I am.

It felt amazing to be home for a month in Winter after being away for an entire year, and it felt better because I surprised my sister at for graduation! I can't wait to go back again in February. I miss home, and I miss my family. There have been times when I've realized how I've taken their presence as a family for granted, and as I grow older, I've been learning to appreciate them more and more.

Jacqueline, my cousin fron Hong Kong but studying in New Zealand (if you think that's a long story, trying asking her about her nationality) paid me a visit not too long ago (blog post long overdue, I'm sorry! It's coming, I promise!) and it was quiet but fun.

And that was perfect tour guide training the week right before Ping and Dubai came over. (again, blogpost will be up soon!) I brought them around for about 5-6 days; it was a whole lot of fun with lots of food, lots of walking around, lots of erratic weather changes: there you go, Melbourne in a nutshell.

Happy happy Lim sisters at the Shrine of Remembrance. Do we look alike?

Yes Dubai, you're my family too. :)

2. Friends

I've had SO many friends visit Melbourne, and funny thing is, I didn't get to see every single one of them! Must remember to fully utilize my camera from now on.

Vivien and Diksha, from Sydney. They hosted me for about 2 nights in Sydney as well, and I think the UNSW campus is beautiful. My first and probably only glimpse of a Uni campus life. 

My favourite couple of all time, Jou and Josh from KL. I can't wait to see you guys soon. Or start booking your tickets for next winter. Though, you guys might wanna find someone else to stay with cause I wouldn't have sofa couches anymore.

Mei from Iowa and Hazel from KL. This was the only picture I had of the two of you, sorry :/  I didn't get to take you guys around at all! :( Hazel, if you're gonna be in Queensland, I'll definitely pay you a visit :) Mei, you already know I'm saving money to go to the US after I graduate :)

Pauline, from Canberra. I've yet to pay you a visit, and I think I will this Easter break (unless you're coming here). I might catch a bus, though i think for the sake of my sanity of my rear, I'll spend on a plane ticket.

Xiaoyun, my long-lost, new-found soulmate from Manchester. It's been a real pleasure knowing you, and even though things didn't work out for you one way or the other, I do hope you'd still come back to Melbourne to see my pretty face!

Tri-Xha, from KL. I know you visit Australia a lot, so I EXPECT you to come back. Please? =p. I can't wait to bring you those salted caramel macarons you and Jou love so much; and for your lil dress-up tea party when I get home! :3

Julia, from KL. A new friend who works where I used to work, it's amazing how we got along so well. You were a real joy to bring around; not many people could stomach the amount of food I stuffed you with, and willingly too!

Brian, from Canberra. Okay so this picture wasn't from your trip, but I hope Amber enjoyed the sweet treats you brought home for her! You've yet to taste the best of Melbourne's food, really..

Jenn, from Sydney. So I was a little cranky when we met up, but it was really wasn't you; it was great to another familiar face! I haven't visited the USyd campus, and I will definitely ring you up when I visit Sydney the next time!

Vicky, from Melbourne/KL. Congrats on your graduation!!! It was great seeing you again; I genuinely do miss you and Aris. I'll definitely want to meet up with you when I'm back in Malaysia, though you guys might have to pick me up =p

Lara, from KL. You were more of Iryan's guest than mine, but it was still fun to bring you around. Maybe Iryan and I can plan a trip to visit you up in Sydney once you've settled down, then it's your turn to bring me to the best burgers in Sydney instead.

In 2012, I've made new friends, reconciled with people I've had a falling out with, gotten closer to some friends, and reached a different level of understanding with others. Maybe 2013 will be full of more surprises and will bring more fulfilling friendships my way. It's just good that 2012 is a year that did not see any friendships falling apart.

Among the good company in Melbourne. If your photo isn't here, don't pout.. I'll cook you dinner :)

2/3s of my favourite people here in Melbourne. Thank you for everything, Iryan and Demie <3

As for the remaining 1/3, congrats Adam, for getting that exchange to the UK!! You're living my dream, and make sure you live it the hell out for me. The three of us will miss you very much, and I'll see you back again in July :)

3. Uni Life

It's no big secret that I was never really happy with what I was doing and the fact that I was in the University of Melbourne. It's something I've taken for granted - not many people have been able to be able to study abroad, or have a tertiary education at all. I've sprouted a new respect and appreciation for my Uni life.

Uni is not meant to be easy, and it's something I had to learn the hard way, not once, but 4 times. After 1.5 years of sulking around Accounting and Finance, I've finally decided to switch to Marketing and maybe even Management, because I definitely suit Marketing better than anything to do with numbers. It was hard, and I'm so blessed to have parents who understood me and gave me a choice. 

4. Relationship

I'm sad to say that my 1.5 year relationship with JasonLMK has come to an end. It was very recent, so it might explain my behavior just a little bit. I haven't got much to say about this, just that we've had a good run, but it was time for us to go our separate ways. 

On the side note: It's always important that you get the blessings for your and your other half's parents, because no matter how good it is, they ultimately have a large hold on what your relationship is and what it will be. If there's something about you that they don't like that you can still change, then maybe that's a test for you as to whether you're willing to change for the one you love. But when it's something that you can never change, like your heritage, your roots, your religion, your race, then it's either they learn to accept, or you pack up and leave.

5. Kitty

He's currently sleeping in his bed next to me, and this may sound utterly bizarre but Levi's definitely one I've become a lot closer to, especially over the past month what with me being home with him nearly all the time. He's been a really good kitty, with bits and pieces of misbehavior here and there.

6. Other highlights

Meeting JinnyBoyTV and the 'cast' of unfold in Melbourne. I can't even...............

Opening up to Melbourne definitely means opening up to the food of Melbourne. Here's the jar that i keep talking about (it's got a lot more paper in it right now) and my Café guide that I follow loosely along with Urbanspoon. 

This is a really, really old picture, but it's probably one of the very few of me in the gym. My fitness in 2012 has been on a massive roller coaster ride. I'm gonna come back stronger and healthier. Remember, it's 30% exercise and 70% nutrition.

7. 2013

I hope for a great many things in 2013. I can feel a good 2013 coming, what with my completely unexpected reconnection with God, with my Uni life finally going in a direction where I can actually see a final destination, and with my opening up to Melbourne.

That, and that I feel a strange energy that's just waiting to pop out and go apeshit on everyone around me. (now that sounds more like me eh?)

Here's to a great 2013, from me to all of you, and to myself.

may.

post-relapse

time to shake all the negativity off and focus on the right things
may.

Home-made Vietnamese inspired rolls, my way.

Home-cooked dinners are great. 

Home-cooked dinners are better when they're tastier than anticipated. 

Home-cooked dinners are the best when you aren't cooking alone. 

It was inspired by Dani Venn (Masterchef Australia 2011)'s Vietnamese beef noodle salad and traditional Vietnamese rice paper rolls.

My idea was to use the beef marinade that she used in her recipe, and make a roll without the rice paper. Yea.. I don't know if you get my logic, cause I don't either. But it turned out good in the end! Cept i don't think I'd put bok choy in it if i make it again.. maybe something fresh like basil and parsley for a crunchy texture.

It was more of a wrap than anything else. Rice paper rolls are generally small and are folded in at the ends.. Unintentional blasphemy. I'm not Vietnamese btw, if there are any strangers reading this blog..  

No recipe today, unfortunately. I've gotta get on with my assignments and I can sense a few people (Mei lol) coming back every few hours to check if I updated for the day (maybe.. or am i just flattering myself?).

And because there aren't many mouth-watering food pictures today, here's a kitty. My kitty! He's grown a whole lot since we took my blog header photo together last December.

 Like a sir. 

He's gonna be 1 year old (in actual age) in about 2 weeks! We're trying to get him to eat adult kibble but he hates it. He keeps going back to his kitty kibble and we've gotta give in otherwise he's take revenge by shitting on my bed. I'm not kidding.. this cat is a real diva.

Hmmm. I miss home.

<3

On a sadder note..
The sad reality of someone who loves food as much as I do is that eating all that good food came with a price.. a price that I'd pay emotionally, mentally, and physically (I mean working out, don't panic) painfully. This two week break has brought out the demon in me that I've been keeping at bay for 2 months or so.. I did anticipate this though, knowing how bad I am at controlling my cravings and my lack of discipline food-wise but maybe knowing that it was coming and not doing anything about it make matters worse. To top it off, I barely went to the gym over the last two weeks.. It's a double kill.

You'd imagine how painful it is the see all the work I've put into getting leaner, fitter and toner over the course of about 2 months (not as strict but fairly consistent nonetheless) slip away in just two weeks. I don't have an eating disorder, but I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with the way I think when it comes to how I think of myself.

It's about time for me to learn to accept myself, to feel good in my own skin again. It's been almost 3 years since I last felt good about, or at least, didn't hate, how i looked (for more than a week). I'd yo-yo.. go through very short periods where I'd be perfectly content with what I look like (with clean eating and mad gymming) and then I'd just let it all go. Three steps forward, one step back. Story of my life.

Yea.. for those out there who never knew this side of me, there you go. I hate what I've made myself look like (gained about 5kgs back in 2010 - not as little as it seems, and I can't seem to lose it anymore), I hate how I don't seem to have constant willpower to keep going, I hate how my peaks in fitness depend on my troughs.

Maybe reminding myself of how far i've fallen, and how much i've failed would put me back on the right track. Wrong mindset? Not the way I see it. If you're gonna accept and be content with what you have, the change you want will never happen.

February, 2010. 52kgs.

Yeah. Maybe you guys understand how shitty I feel about how I look now, eh?

maybe i'm just running the wrong race. 
may.

Start your day happy.

I'm constantly told that I should always start the day happy. And nothing makes me happier in the morning than a good breakfast that is homemade..

Eggs are beneficial

Strawberries are seasonal

Bananas are sweet and essential

Quick oats can be made sensational.

Spinach is a rarity

Blueberries are a luxury

Greek yogurt for your dose of dairy

Nuts and chia seeds make it crunchy.

So wake up early

Get to the kitchen; make it snappy
Whip up breakfast and make it pretty

I'm sure you'll start your day happy.

Yeah, a lame little poem i came up with in 10 seconds that made me chuckle. 

You might notice that i love parfaits, strawberries and pancakes after this post.

I'll start with what i had this morning, since it's the easiest to remember.

Chocolate quinoa (say what?!), smashed banana, passionfruit, strawberries and topped with wonderfully sweet blueberries. The chocolate quinoa was from @joneacie's instagram but it didnt exactly absorb up all the soy milk so i got crunchy chocolate quinoa instead. 

I toasted 1/2tsp nutmeg and 1/2tsp cinnamon with 1/4cup quinoa (red, preferably) until fragrant and added about 1 and 1/4cup soy milk and let it simmer till the soy milk (almond milk, preferably) was gone. (Need to work that part out though.. maybe soy milk is too thick for quinoa to absorb). Took it off the heat and added 1tsp unsweetened baking cacao and 2tbs honey. Refrigerated it overnight cause i wanted to have it cold. 

Layering was just as it was in the photo. I nom-ed it down in minutes.. party cause i loved how it looked and cause i was famished.

Green pancakes! Again, from @joneacie on instagram. She has such amazing recipes..

1/2cup spinach, blitzed, 1scoop of vanilla protein powder, 1 egg and 2 egg whites, 1/2cup rolled oats, 1tsp vanilla essence, 3-4tbs almond/soy milk, 1tbs flax seed. Mix it all together and cook em like normal pancakes!

Strawberry, cranberry and greek yogurt parfait. Mhmm.. i told you i loved parfaits and strawberries. No prep whatsoever here.. just layering, layering, layering. Topped it with shredded coconut and chia seeds cause i've got a shitload in my pantry.

@joneacie's recipes again! overnight oats, banana, cranberry, almond and coconutty cream parfait.

Soak 1/2tbs chia seeds, 1/2cup rolled oats in 1/2cup almond/soy milk overnight for the overnight oats! Sprinkle and mix in some nutmeg or cinnamon if you want. 

Coconutty cream is just 1/2scoop vanilla protein powder, 3-4tbs of greek yogurt, 1 and 1/2tbs shredded coconut, 1tsp honey and 1tsp vanilla essence. 

blogilates' banana pancakes, which is about the simplest recipe I've ever seen in my life. It's literally 2 eggs and 1 ripe banana (smashed). Mix the two up till it's really well combined and cook it like normal pancakes. You'd be surprised.. It's the best tasting (healthy) pancakes i've ever eaten in my life.

Topped mine with honey, cause i top everything with honey, blueberries, pecans and shredded coconut.

TRY IT NOW. IT'S SO EASY. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSES. 

I also did a chocolate variation of it by adding about 1/2tbs unsweetened baking cacao in it.


Need to work on that recipe.. Something was odd with the mix. Maybe the bananas weren't sweet enough. Oh well.

Egg crêpe with strawberries, honey, banana and natural peanut butter! It was probably the most ingenious recipe i created myself one morning..

2 eggs and 1 egg white plus 3-4tbs soy/almond milk, whisk really well. Pour in in a non-stick pan, VERY LOW HEAT. SUPER LOW. LOWEST IT CAN GO. When most of if it set, carefully use your hands to flip it.

I tried this again using three eggs but it was too heavy for me to flip it. So be careful with your egg mixture, mine tore when i tried to flip it.

I spread one half with natural peanut butter and topped it with sliced banana, and the other half with honey and sliced strawberries and rolled it up. Topped it off with unsweetened baking cacao and shredded coconut and a strawberry.

I must say it was pretty darn good.. It probably kept me happy for a week. But with toppings and spreads like that, how can it not be?

My breakfasts look like desserts. Maybe that's why i rarely crave for desserts anymore.. Just the savory stuff. Hope the few readers of this blog enjoyed the short dose of healthy food porn.. I'm starting to feel really happy blogging again. Though it also means that i'm neglecting other important things..

On the side note, have you ever experienced emotional snowballing? (It's not a real term, but those're the only words i can use to describe it. Have you ever wanted to change something so much that you forget the right ways to do it? Have you ever intended for an end product to be a good thing, but in the process of doing that, everything was just bad, bad, bad? Have you ever wanted to change yourself so bad, because you know that if you don't, you're gonna be in trouble, but somehow, some unknown thing stops you? Have you ever wanted to battle your own ego so much, it's pushed you over the edge and you're all cracked at the seams? Have you ever felt like you've got an inner demon in you, that you're living proof that Dr Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde's story ain't just a storybook classic? Have you ever hated yourself for the way you are so much, but hate yourself even more for not being able to change as fast as you want to, and when you hurt the people around you? Have you? Maybe if you have, then i'm more human that i actually think i am.

it's always darkest before the dawn,
may.

resuscitation attempt no. 5320980234098

so.......... i'm back (i try, i try).

thanks to jason, pauline and vicky. they've mentioned that i should update/restart my blog, and i've been thinking about it for a long time too. finally got my butt up to start!

what's been going on lately?
after a whole year, i've finally opened up to melbourne. particularly, the café scene. melbourne IS australia's coffee/café central after all. jason and i have been going to one or two new cafés every week (time and money permitting). i guess people who know me well enough would know that i've got this undying love for food, and more so taking pictures of my food and showing it to the world (like the asian that i am; it's basically the building blocks of my instagram account).

as for the whole opening up to melbourne part, i guess i wasn't at all ready to say goodbye to my friends in malaysia, and i hated being away from home that i've turned away from all the wonderful things about melbourne. i can honestly say that, while it IS expensive to live here, i really like it here now. sure, i've gotta work at domino's for extra money (best part-time job i've ever had so far!), but that's life isn't it?

i've also got more control over my life now. not like i was wild and irresponsible in the first place, but.. to put it rather poetically, while i don't see a clear destination, i can definitely see a road ahead of me. dropping finance as a major was definitely the best decision i've made since getting here (i nearly failed my first finance paper - go figure) and i am still doing accounting and recently took up (though i might completely switch to) marketing, cause i love it and it makes more sense to me. but we'll see how it goes at the end of this semester (and whether mommy and daddy dearest allow me).

it feels great to fill up my time with something productive (more than watching MasterChef Australia 6 hours a day, definitely). hopefully this time, i'd be able to keep updating regularly.. hopefully. as usual, it'll be about food, food, food.. maybe a bit of the fitness side of my life too, since that's now a huge part of me.

and even if no one reads my blog........... at least jason will. ;)
may.